Here comes the snow.

Hello, my third Moscow winter.

I've missed you!

With this gloomy and cold winter, I am more sensitive and alert to everything.

And it's very hard for me to just close my eyes and pretend like nothing is going wrong.

A year ago, everything was so different.

A year ago, I was happy because I kinda knew what was going on and what to expect, I was prepared for everything.

And with that much of preparation, I was still hurt so imagine THIS.

Urgh fuck this shit.

Nowadays, I would be so happy and damn grateful if I can get through a day without drama, without a single fight.

I don't know what is going on because seriously, I didn't know that even a door could become a big issue that leads to some 'you are so ego', 'you don't want to admit your mistake', 'I want to settle this now' blah blah blah hurricane kind of issue.

Maybe I should have enrolled in an acting school.

And once we settled that issue and everything was going on so well (or so I thought), shit happened, again.

Everyone seems to be so emotional now that it is quite hard for everyone to have a decent, nice conversation with each other.

And not only that, now I have this...

By now, you guys should know that I am not really good at saying no to people for fear of hurting the other party.

I will play along, until I can't play along anymore and out of guilt I will just go away, leaving the other party confused and of course, hating me.

Maybe Ryan and Krishtina were right, I shouldn't be too nice to people because we never know how people interpret our actions and words.

Some people... They confused 'flirting' with 'being friendly'.

And I know this is totally my fault because this thing has happened more than three times so yeah... I guess it will much safer for me to just stay in this close circle of friends I am having right now.

Because I always always think that everyone is open and fun and awesome like my friends.

I mean, come on, they said 'I am cool' blah blah blah but what the fuck, they are not.

Okay whatever lah eh.

My fault, I am sorry.

And... I miss home.

I just want things to be alright and fine again.

I will do anything to go back to last year.

Impossible, kan?

Didn't I tell how the boys love to bully Shisho? Heh.

xx