Tight Hugs & Sloppy Kisses

We had our last family 'dinner' yesterday at 5 in the morning because we are just too awesome like that.

2012-01-25T00:29:00.003+04:00

By the time I am writing this, Aaron should be in Spain; Krishtina, Michelle and Shalu should be in Paris; Nesh and Nishan should be on their way to Riga.

And I am flying home today.

I miss them already, urgh!

It is just so quiet without them around me.

:'(

I was supposed to wait until Nesh and Nishan left the hostel then only I go out for a last minute shopping trip but I was just too sad.

So I didn't really say goodbye properly to the two boys.

:'(

I shall go continue packing my luggage and whatnot.

Ahh, hopefully the sun and family loooove will heal this rindu-ness :'(

My Uni's Morgue Is Just So Fucking Cool.

2012-01-20T02:40:00.002+04:00

Serious shit I didn't know my class room has a secret elevator that go straight down to the morgue.

This is Russia, y'all!

Damn proud weh.

This song makes me cry.

2012-01-15T22:23:00.001+04:00

dara jangan kau bersedih

ku tahu kau lelah

tepiskan keruh dunia

biarkan mereka, biarkan mereka

tenangkan hatimu disana

tertidur kau lelap

mimpi yang menenangkan

biarkan semua, biarkan semua

kurangi beban itu

tetap lihat ke depan

tak terasingkan dunia

dua jiwa yang perih

masih ada di sana

untuk kita berdua

dalam hati yang menyatu

tempat kita berdua

kurangi beban itu

tetap lihat ke depan

tak terasingkan dunia

dua jiwa perih

masih ada disana

untuk kita berdua

Dara by Ariel.

This is the reason why I have been missing lately.

2012-01-15T00:17:00.004+04:00

Oh yes. I successfully aced 7 fucking colloqs in just one week.

7 colloqs that all the other students did in one sem, I did it in just one week.

Alhamdulillah.

I wouldn't be able to do it without all the supports and love given to me by those who really really cares and matters to me.

Thank you, all :)

And yes, I did have a fun Saturday.

Tehee ;)

And now, back to business!

I will have ALL the fun once I am done with Anat & Histo final ;))))

Couldn't waiiiiitttt!

Love love xx

Penat gila.

2012-01-12T05:29:00.003+04:00

I am so tired.

Couldn't wait for the Winter break eventho' I am still not sure where am I heading this Winter.

My mom been asking me to check the flight ticket to go back home.

Ahh, let's think about this once I am done with Anat & Histo final.

Took the photo from Tumblr.

Exactly what I am feeling right now.

This is beyond awesome. This is the life.

2012-01-10T00:32:00.003+04:00

If only Moscow is not a cold cold place and the Winter season doesn't take half of the year (yes, hardcore Winter here)...

Nesh is right, this totally looks like the kind of stuff we do, ;)

Trouble is...

2012-01-08T08:03:00.003+04:00

TONIGHT I'M GONNA BE STRONG
KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL
YOU WON’T GET UNDER MY SKIN
GONNA KEEP A CLEAR HEAD
GUARD MY HEART AND SOUL
SO YOU CAN’T WALK RIGHT IN
THEN YOU WALK RIGHT IN

CHORUS
THE TROUBLE IS
YOU’RE WEARING THAT PERFUME
THE TROUBLE IS
YOU’RE LOOKING TOO FINE
THE TROUBLE IS
I WANNA KISS YOU LIKE CRAZY
TASTE YOU LIPS ON MINE
TROUBLE IS

I SPEND DAYS BUILDING UP WALLS
JUST FOR YOU TO TEAR DOWN
WITH ONE TOUCH OF YOUR HAND
THERE’S NOTHING ELSE IN THE ROOM
ANYTIME YOU’RE AROUND
NO USE TAKING A STAND
GIRL I WAS MAKING A STAND

CHORUS 2
THE TROUBLE IS
YOU’RE HERE IN MY ARMS NOW
THE TROUBLE IS
ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE
THE TROUBLE IS
NOBODY’S GOING NOWHERE
AND THE NIGHT’S STILL YOUNG
YEAH THE NIGHT’S STILL YOUNG
TROUBLE IS

CHORUS 3
THE TROUBLE IS
THE WARMTH OF YOUR BODY
TROUBLE IS THE SOUND OF YOUR SIGH
THE TROUBLE IS
THE LOOK OF SURRENDER
BURNING IN YOUR EYES
BURNING IN YOUR EYES

♥

Well, I basically copied and pasted this lyrics off of the internet and I am just too lazy to correct it. Some of the words are... Well, just enjoy the song now.
Will you?

Getting there. And also my point of view about the whole Amalina fiasco.

2012-01-04T04:27:00.004+04:00

This coming year, I hope we create a story we all love. I hope we make something beautiful and take risks. I hope we dare ourselves to do brave things. I hope we fall in love- with a person, art or God. I hope we discover the miracle of faith. I hope life breaks us and from the disaster, I hope we come out brand new and more beautiful. I hope we have the courage to take the weak things and amplify them until our life overflows with only the good stuff. I hope we see the world and meet interesting people (like me! tehee) but above all, I hope we have an absolutely passionate love affair with life. Because we are so fucking awesome like that. Through thick and thin, forever ♥

We had our new year dinner last Sunday.

Nesh bought 2 bottles of champagne to celebrate Lim's birthday so yeah...

And no, I don't drink champagne.

I think we took more photos but as usual, the photos are with Krishtina.

So gotta wait for that.

And I couldn't help it but seriously, I am quite pissed at the amount of havoc and drama created regarding Amalina Bakri's so called culture shock.

I even read a blogger wrote 'its better to fail in my studies than to fail in my faith' or something along that line.

I know that things get very very sensitive when it comes to religion related issue but I am just giving my opinion.

I don't understand why these people (the ones talking and spreading her photos on the internet) did that and what are they trying to achieve, actually.

If they want her to wear her hijab and be a good Muslim, then why can't they just send her email, or I don't know, reach her directly instead of spreading her photos and writes stories that I am pretty sure are based on their assumptions.

If you really want her to be a good Muslim, then tell her that. Pray for her.

Not by doing all this...

Talking about culture shock and her being chummy chummy to the English men just because a single photo of her with an English guy? Come on.

I've seen far worst cases that this.

Unfortunately for her, she used to be in the limelight so people notices her and her doings.

The rumors about her failing in her studies?

Quoting from a twit that my friend retweeted "Pointing out Amalina Bakri's flaw, but where is she? An intern at Cancer Research UK. You? Bunch of keyboard warriors".

Burn.

Realistic 2012.

2012-01-01T15:43:00.004+04:00

Assalammualaikum, my dear dear dear beautiful readers.

Happy new year! :)

I don't have any new awesome resolution because I believe that, if I want to change myself, if I want to be better or whatsoever, I can just do it any time.

I can be anything I want, any time. Why must we wait until new year to change ourselves?

And last year, for the year 2011 I did write that I want to keep my hair long and I just finished Skyping with my mom and she said my hair is way way longer now so yeay for that, Alhamdulillah :)

2011 is a year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast. It's the year my so called friend walked out of my life, and it's the year I realized who the real ones are. It's the year I felt most pressure to the point where I gave up so many times but I am still learning how to get back up. It's the year I said I will accomplish great things yet I feel like I just wasted time. It's the year I cried over too many pointless things, too many times. It's the year I look back on all the lifetime memories in which I am finding myself missing the people in them. But it's also the year I move on, slowly, and I realize that it is okay. Thank you, 2011 for everything. Everything I've done, lost, loved, hated, missed, failed, passed... Everything.♥

For 2012, I just want to be better and stronger- mentally and spiritually.

To take risks and be brave.

InsyaAllah :)

Lesson of The Day: Log out.

2011-12-28T06:14:00.005+04:00

Nishan was getting ready to go out while Nesh still giving me his piece of mind (refer previous post), I was bored (hungry lah, what do you expect) and I realised that he didn't log out of his FB.

Yeah, I know that it is his lappy but still...

And because I am kinda pissed at Nesh so I decided to show some love on Nesh's FB wall.

And Nesh was sitting just beside me.

Liking all the posts.

What a beautiful friendship we have.

Not my first time hacking his FB and surely not for the last time, :p

Once, I changed his primary photo to a photo of McD's burgers.

Eh, I gave him a nice head massage because the cold weather is giving him headache (sinusitis problem he said) so please eh... No complain.

And I was like, 'Babe, if you delete all these... Our friendship will putus okay!'.

Because I am a very sweet friend like that.

Now I know why doctors' handwriting is so... Hmm.

2011-12-28T04:43:00.007+04:00

I didn't really get what the teacher was saying so I blurred these photos just in case I wrote some really really wrong info.

Tehee :p

I am having a mild fever, sore throat and I am so bloody damn tired.

3 more days until Russian Christmas break :D

I am on the verge of giving up, :(

I didn't get enough sleep yesterday, stayed up reading and writing and guess what, the teacher didn't even pass me :(

She asked me to sit for the exam next year, after the 9 days break.

I was so tired and sad and frustrated that I terus nangis right there and then.

Lim and Aaron hugged me and of course, that made me cry even more.

-_-"

But luckily I got my Biochem zachut, woots :D

Alhamdulillah for that.

Got home and I had to sit and listen to Nesh tuperan-ing me. For my own good, according to him.

I was not in the mood of arguing with him (tried to but seriously, all I was thinking of is my grumbling tummy) so I will come up with my own 'speech' later.

Not now.

I have to set my priorities right, heh.

Priorities my ass.

Whatever lah eh.

One more week until Russian Christmas break!

2011-12-26T04:01:00.002+04:00

When words fail, there is always music :)

So here comes a week of sleepless nights, fun-less days, endless reading and writing, fake laughs, forced smiles and teary eyes.

And please please please, no fighting :(
I really don't think I have extra energy for that.

And no drama, too.

Oh Allah, please give me Your strength.

Thank You, :)

Here comes the snow.

2011-12-22T22:26:00.006+04:00

Hello, my third Moscow winter.

I've missed you!

With this gloomy and cold winter, I am more sensitive and alert to everything.

And it's very hard for me to just close my eyes and pretend like nothing is going wrong.

A year ago, everything was so different.

A year ago, I was happy because I kinda knew what was going on and what to expect, I was prepared for everything.

And with that much of preparation, I was still hurt so imagine THIS.

Urgh fuck this shit.

Nowadays, I would be so happy and damn grateful if I can get through a day without drama, without a single fight.

I don't know what is going on because seriously, I didn't know that even a door could become a big issue that leads to some 'you are so ego', 'you don't want to admit your mistake', 'I want to settle this now' blah blah blah hurricane kind of issue.

Maybe I should have enrolled in an acting school.

And once we settled that issue and everything was going on so well (or so I thought), shit happened, again.

Everyone seems to be so emotional now that it is quite hard for everyone to have a decent, nice conversation with each other.

And not only that, now I have this...

By now, you guys should know that I am not really good at saying no to people for fear of hurting the other party.

I will play along, until I can't play along anymore and out of guilt I will just go away, leaving the other party confused and of course, hating me.

Maybe Ryan and Krishtina were right, I shouldn't be too nice to people because we never know how people interpret our actions and words.

Some people... They confused 'flirting' with 'being friendly'.

And I know this is totally my fault because this thing has happened more than three times so yeah... I guess it will much safer for me to just stay in this close circle of friends I am having right now.

Because I always always think that everyone is open and fun and awesome like my friends.

I mean, come on, they said 'I am cool' blah blah blah but what the fuck, they are not.

Okay whatever lah eh.

My fault, I am sorry.

And... I miss home.

I just want things to be alright and fine again.

I will do anything to go back to last year.

Impossible, kan?

Didn't I tell how the boys love to bully Shisho? Heh.

Friendship is not about being inseparable. It is being separated and knowing nothing will change.

2011-12-20T17:28:00.002+04:00

If there is a stronger word than love, I'll use that here. I love you guys. <3

xx

If I can get a tattoo, I will get these words inked on the inside of my left arm.

2011-12-18T04:36:00.005+04:00

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil - there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.”
— Frank A. Clark

Also, crazy weeks ahead!
No drama, please.
Stay wherever you are because why? I am at peace right now.
Just stay there. Away.

Ryan will kill me if he knows I posted this photo here, too :D
I had to lah, look at his face all scrunched up like that.
Ohh, photos from Ryan's birthday dinner...
Err, soon.
Eh, I just realised one thing.
Was Nesh checking out my behind?
Hahaha, look at him looking like an awesome pimp.
Tehee.
Awesome friends, I love you guys long time.

xx

Wordless Sunday. Okay not really.

2011-12-18T02:22:00.005+04:00

How is life?
Life is going on pretty good.
:)

How is study?
Study is... Okay lahhhh.
Tehee :p

How is everything?
Everything is cool.
:)

No mood to write lah actually, I just want to snuggle on the bed,
Bye!

xx

Hello, Friday :)

2011-12-15T21:52:00.000+04:00

I don't think I will be partying this weekend.

Urgh, I have so much of stuff to be done lah.

Me too.

Tell me not to go partying this weekend. Please? I'll listen to you.

No party party this weekend, okay?

Okay.

No *some text missing*.

Hehe, okay.

But I am okay with it lah.

I really need to sit and study properly.

Urgh, fuck this new Blogger interface thingy lah. So confusing.

But I guess change is good.

Gotta get used to it.

Naked.

2011-12-14T01:59:00.001+04:00

Cause you were the boy,
Daddy told you to stay away from me,
But you're nothing but a fantasy,
I need to know that, need to know that,
You'd be strong enough to believe in us,
So I don't care what they say,
It's our life life life,
We can dance if we want,
Make it feel alright,
Temperature's rising,
I feel the fire,
Tonight, it's just me and you.

Tell me baby, will you be here when I wake up,
Even with no make up,
I don't want to fake it.

Dev & Enrique Iglesias.

Good job, Tuesday.

2011-12-13T23:21:00.008+04:00

I had a long good night sleep last night, 10 hours of deep sleep is the best :)

I am supposed to wake up at 3 something in the morning to study for Biochem colloq but I was like, 'Eh, fuck it.' and guess what, I think I did super well.

YEAY ME :D

Also.

Turns out, I was worrying over nothing.

I guess the fucked up hormones are really fucking up with my unstable emotions.

Fun eh, hormones?

Turns out, everything is actually getting better and more fun.

And I really hope that this will lasts a little longer than expected :)

Successfully walked to and fro uni wearing my new winter boots.

Damn proud weh, 5 inches heels y'all!

Call me superwoman :)

And seriously, well done Tuesday.

Not bad ;)

Not bad at all.

Tehee.

And I just woke up from my nap, all fresh and feeling damn well rested.

I set my alarm at 11pm and I woke up at 10 fiftysomething pm, how cool is that?

Well, thanks to Nesh's mom who called me.

She can't contact Nesh so I guess she's still keeping my phone number since the day we found out about what happened to his brother.

Long story but yeah thank God she called, if not, I could still be sleeping annnnnnnnd I have like, a million of razkaz to be memorized.

And Microbe colloqs to be done.

Awesome, thanks Auntie!

She called me 'Amoi', lol my Mom's side of the family must be proud lah. LOL.

Oh, you guys didn't know that quarter of my blood is Chinese?

Interesting fact for the day.

Anyway moving on,

I find this short movie very interesting.

I learn that give and take, understanding and accepting each other's weird kinks and well, sweet sweet love are what's making a relationship works.

Art is beautiful when you are embracing it with an open mind, :)

And Wednesday, can you compete with Tuesday?

Be nice, Wednesday :)

Die Monday, Die!

2011-12-12T20:43:00.002+04:00

I slept at 7.15am this morning and I woke up super fucking early today for the sake of PT's zachut.

And the best part was?

We didn't get our zachut today.

Class was at 8.50am, I woke up at 8.11am.

So you can just imagine how I got ready.

A suuuuuper quick shower (because somehow I was sweating for the whole night. during winter, wtf) and that was it.

Not even a single pat of powder or even a drop of moisturizer.

I felt so fucking naked weh.

I was like, 'Don't look at me, don't look at me!', no kidding.

We got there quite late so we didn't really run, yeay for that.

So while the other students were busy playing games and some were reading for their next classes, I was busy getting ready.

Yeah, I actually dumped the concealer, finishing powder and two sets of make up brushes into the bag.

Because I am very vain like that.

-_-"

Well moving on, so that was how I started my day.

I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed because my day just didn't get better.

I was like, 'I am not going for lecture and Anat and Microbe!' but well, I went.

Super tired, super sleepy, super hungry.

Super cranky day.

And I was not feeling well during Anat.

So Tuesday, please be good.

When no one’s around, I practice saying the words you’ll never hear.

2011-12-11T00:26:00.002+04:00

How I spent my Saturday night?

Stayed in, enjoying the super yummy Chicken Soup while it's snowing like nobody's business out there.

And layan-ing dubstep mixes.

And long distanced Skype (and FB chat!) conversations :)

Fuck. David Guetta's Nothing But the Beat album disc 2 is the BEST.

Eargasm to the max.

And Skrillex vs Zomboy, of course.

And the good ol' AC/DC, Slipknot and Korn :D

I am in no mood for sad sappy songs, damn depressing weh.

and the list goes on!

Oh what I am trying to say is, partying in the room is not that bad :)
Plus I finally got myself a military style winter high heeled boots!

But maybe I shouldn't speak to soon eh, God know's what will happen next.

Oh well, till' later!

I cannot imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.

2011-12-07T20:18:00.004+04:00

Today is not my best day.

I am not okay.

I cried during Therapy class.

I just couldn't help it.

I am tired of holding on.

But... By the end of the class, I felt much much better.

Kesayangan, :)

And I am happy to know that Nishan is still my strongest pillar, to know that even after all the stupid mistakes I did and all the wrong turns that I took, he is still around to listen and comfort me.

Eventho' I am quite sure that he knows that I will still do the stupid mistakes and take the wrong turns.

Thank you, babe <3

It's so easy to make me angry and sad nowadays, eh?

All the anger, hatred, frustration and the leftover hopes inside me... Bubbling, just waiting for that one last break.

I miss my mommy.

Heartless broken ones.

2011-12-07T01:48:00.003+04:00

I need a hug.

A long long tight hug, I can bury my head on his shoulder... Sniffing his scent.

Unloading all my emotions. Feeling at home. Belonged.

Without me asking, "A hug, please?".

Shit, Farhanah. Shit.

You are stronger than this...

Always camera ready, even when my friend is being bullied :)

2011-12-05T01:34:00.006+04:00

We always, always walk home together.

So while waiting for Nesh and Brian to settle their work with Svetlana, we waited outside...

The boys love to bully Shisho.
So instead of helping her, I did what I do best...

Hahaha, just look at Nishan's face!

Epic.

These photos were taken like... 2 months ago?

Taken on Monday so yeah, I am praying hard that my Monday today will be (at least!) half as good as the one when these photos were taken.

Ahh, 5 more days until Friday!

Have a blessed week ahead, my lovelies :)

Mwah xx

Whoop dee doo~

2011-12-03T19:40:00.002+04:00

Cheers to making new friends, going to new places, trying out new stuff :)
Because life is just too short for me to just sit around, depressing myself even more.

Kan?

Damn, being single IS awesome.

Why does this always happen to me?

2011-12-02T01:50:00.007+04:00

Like, seriously?

Just when I thought that this time, it will work out, everything is going on so well, blah blah blah...

BAM!

Shit happened.

Like, shitty fuckity fuck fuck kind of shit.

Fuck lah weh.

I am tired of all this nonsense.

What did I do wrong?

Where did I go wrong?

Why?

You promised that nothing could possibly hurt me but funny enough, you are the one who is hurting me.

I trust you.

And this is what you gave me?

Huh? This?

Well, fuck you.

FUCK YOU.

Never ever come back to me, I don't need you.

All this while, you are nothing to me.

I wanted you. Want.

Want and need are two different things.

I don't fucking need you.

But you, you need me.

Good luck with that, lets see how long can .you survive.

Or pretend that you can survive.

It's Friday and I am so going to forget about this tonight.

Duck facing the problem away, :*

Also, my skin is starting to break out again, URGH.

This better be the monthly visit hormone blah blah blah thingy because I haven't done anything naughty nowadays.

Like... Hmm... Eating too much oily food?

Tehee.

Next!

Ancient photos from that sexy outing.

2011-12-01T02:52:00.006+04:00

We were running out of ideas for Krishtina's birthday.

Eventho' she is not the eldest in the group but we call her Akka (Indian for big sister) because she's the one who will make every plan happens, and she really cares for everyone.

But we can't ask her to plan her own birthday, right?

That would be... Well, there is no appropriate word for that.

Can I say 'fuck-y', instead of sucky?

We planned to go to Chilli's but since we were having classes the next day plus by the time everyone was ready, its already late so we decided to just go to somewhere near.

After spending some time discussing, walking and... well, going to few places, we decided to just lepak in Picasso.

LOL.

Of all places kan... But seriously, we don't really care about the place because you can just throw us anywhere and we will still have a good time.

Krishtina just sent me the photos.

I know, after like, 2 months...

But too bad, we were too tired to even take a photo of the after party.

Oh, now that I am having all of our photos, say hello to excessive photo filled updates :D

Me love!

If you don't do foolish things when you are young, you won't have anything to smile about when you are old ;)

2011-11-29T02:30:00.005+04:00

Last Friday, I brought my lappy to Physio class for my presentation.

Why? Because the provided PC is damn ancient -_-"
But luckily my teacher also brought his lappy so I just used my lappy to take these photos while waiting for him to set up his lappy and the projector thing.

In the middle of the class, his colleague came and asked for the lappy so my lappy to the rescue!
I was okay about it like, duhh...

Until the moment they click on the documents tab.

*Major heart attack*

I was silently praying, 'wtf wts wtf wts, don't open any of the folders'.

Like, hellooo... The whole class can see everything and just imagine if... *shivers*
But thank God they didn't see anything, :)
I tell you, I won't bring my lappy to the class again after this.

Annnnddddddd...

Nowadays I am kinda busy doing God knows what.
And I couldn't be more relieved that I am single because seriously, I don't think I have enough time for that.

Oh wait, am I single?

Tehee.

It's going to be a cold December.

2011-11-27T17:03:00.004+04:00

11.11.2011, so you can just imagine the thickness of the snow by now.

My Saturday Night.

2011-11-27T00:26:00.002+04:00

Partied hard last week so I decided to just spend my Saturday night in the room.

Cleaned the room, had a good dinner, took a long nice shower (super long I even had the time to shave! lol. ) and now, here I am....

On the bed (my usual spot so nothing new here) and I am going to read this book.

Fashion Babylon. A Sunday Times Bestseller by Imogen Edwards-Jones & Anonymous.

Bought this book in February while I was on my way back to Moscow from my Winter break and med school (and life drama) has been keeping me busy to the point that I kind of forgot about this book!

Crazy.

So I just finished catching up with the new episode of GG, 90210, New Girl and Glee so yeah, why not I read.

Right?

Sometimes, a break from the norm is good.

2011-11-26T14:46:00.010+04:00

For the first time in weeks, Nesh & I didn't go out for dinner on Friday night.

And to be honest, I was little bit disappointed because I love going out at night!

But it's okay because he sent me this at 2 in the morning.

I was practically sweating and crying while eating the chicken, so spicy but it's so so yummy.

But duh, everything tastes good when you are starving.

Plus, I love broccoli!

Tehee.

Thank you sayang, my super awesome good friend.

But I am craving for sushi now :(

Please, with cherry on top?

I was emo-ing and refused to attend classes and he knows I wont say no to sushi, so we went to More Sushi. This was like... 2 weeks ago? Yeah, I am annoying and spoiled like that.

And pizza, too.

Last Friday, we went to Papa John's.

And this was... two weeks ago? Pizza Hut.

No wonder I am getting fatter and fatter.

We will walk this world together.

2011-11-25T22:20:00.003+04:00

Yeay, it's Friday!

It's time for mani and pedi.

It's time for me to catch up with the rest of the world.

It's time for me to read for next week's colloq.

Urgh.

We were walking home all happy and relieved because Therapy lecture was (sort of) cancelled yesterday when these four people went ahead leaving Nesh & I behind, just in time for me to take out my phone and snap this awesome symmetrical photo :)

Through thick and thin, :)

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ♥

2011-11-24T15:56:00.006+04:00

Ahh, I have been so busy catching up with my sleeping time and clearing the mess in my head and heart.
Worry not! I am feeling much much better now.

It's just that I need to be reminded about my life purpose and the huge amount of love (and support!) given to me by the lovely people surrounding me.

Couldn't wait for the semester to be over so I can go somewhere nice for the Winter break.

The Boys, Nishan & Nesh. I couldn't imagine my life in Moscow without these two boys. I trust them with my life. No kidding.

There is this one time, I was feeling really really down.
I felt like no one is there for me plus Nesh was back in Malaysia for his brother's funeral.

So it was during one of our long distance phone calls that he asked me to count my blessings.

You have me. You have Nishan. You have everyone that really care for you, all around you.

...

Imagine this. There are you. I'll be like... Your right hand, and Nishan will be you left hand.

Okay.

Shisho, Krishtina...

Yeah. Pei Vern, Lim, Aaron... Brian, Ryan... My family. My other friends. They can be my backbones.

See, you have everyone.

Aww, you guys complete me :)

Blessed. Thank You, Almighty.

I don't care if this guy is just playing with my messed up head because this is one of the nicest things I've heard in a long long time.

2011-11-21T18:27:00.003+04:00

Gotta post this here just in case I need a pick-me-up words whenever I am feeling down :)

" Because you seem like a person who lives in today.
Not bound by social views of acceptance

... But my question is why? Why let it get to you?
You are pretty, sweet, nice... You live life how you want it to be lived and be happy, you still do have good friends around you that genuinely care about you.

Most important is the close circle of friends that will always be at your side."

I always get this from those who are closed to me but getting this from a total stranger, it sure feels good :)

So I survived a week without internet.

2011-11-20T04:17:00.003+04:00

I broke my Yota broadband modem and I was too broke to get a new one.

Damn sad.

But sad no more because last Friday, I dragged the whole group to come with me to the shop to buy the new modem :D

A lot as in A LOT A LOT A LOT has happened in just one week time.

Awesome shit man, one week without internet.

I was like, 'Niiice, now I can study peacefully without any distractions' but knowing me, when there's a will there's a way so I still found my ways to be distracted by some other distracting stuff :p

Will write more soon, photos and stories but in the mean time, enjoy this song.

This is what will happen if you are so hungry and you go crazy at buying food.

2011-11-10T16:37:00.004+04:00

Yes, yes. I know. We went a liiil' crazy. Ended up he saboy-ed the KFC for the boys.

I asked him to finish the food and this is what he did, -_-"

It was a good outing lah.

Eh, fuck good, it was awesome!

I am feeling rather blue nowadays so to actually go out and talk and eat with this awesome good friend of mine, I am feeling way way better :)

We walked around the mall and we were the last person to actually came out of ZARA because the moment we stepped out of the boutique, they actually put down the grill door thingy, :p

Yes, we were out till that late.

Made a stop at Starlite Diner before we catch the last Metro home- all happy, chilled and relaxed :)

Because I am awesome like that ;)

Where are you, when I need you the most?

2011-11-09T15:12:00.002+04:00

Thicker than blood.

2011-11-07T20:21:00.004+04:00

Today was just... An awfully long and tiring day for me.

I managed to answer both of my test papers, phew.

AND IT WAS FUCKING COLD TODAY.

I got out of the building and saw ice on the road so I guess that winter is just around the corner.

Too early for winter? Hello, this is Russia.

Had early dinner with these awesome people and eventho' everyone was pretty cranky and tired, it was good to finally get to sit together and laughed and ate and talked about stuff and just relax.

Thank You Allah for giving me another day today, eventho' it was very tiring and very very stressful, I am happy and grateful to be surrounded by these beautiful souls.

Some people give me the looks and smirks for mingling around and hanging out with these awesome people who are not from the same religion, race and even skin color with me but heck, what do they know?

I'd rather be with these awesome people who loves me and accepts me for who I am than be with those hypocrite and double faced human beings.

It's when you are living abroad that you will start to appreciate the little things in life, like Milo and Chipsmore.

2011-11-07T01:49:00.005+04:00

I woke up from my evening nap to these,

So i guess that Aaron is back :)

Aaron is back, right?
Yeah. He came here?
I think so. Because when I woke up I saw the Milo and Chipsmore packet on my table.

Hmm. You asked him Milo and Chipsmore from Malaysia, you could have asked me that right?

Pity you lah. Already Nishan and Krishtina asked you to bring stuff for them, right?

Oh, yeay. Everyone's baaaaaaaaack! :)

And Microbe colloq, urgh~

I ended up sleeping at 5++ AM yesterday doing God knows what and woke up quite late so yeah, zero Microbe info in the brain.

Good luck, me :)

" I want roses. "

2011-11-06T02:10:00.004+04:00

I love it when I got what I wanted, oh well, who doesn't ? :)

Eid Mubarak, everyone!

Gonna sleep early today *turn to look at the clock* oopsie, it's already 2:16AM :p

No celebration for me, I am not going to the embassy or anything because I am going to study for Microbe colloq -_-"

Guess who is back in Moscow?

2011-11-03T22:11:00.003+04:00

Thought of going to one of the shopping malls but then once we were inside the sushi place (all comfy and warm), we were like, "Eh, maybe we should just lepak here lah.".

Ordered random sets of sushi and tempura and he chose the drinks- LOVE the coffee but errrr about the other drink :p

Catching up session. So nice that he's finally back, it felt like ages!

It's public holiday tomorrow in Russia, Unity Day (День народного единства) so yeay for a long weekend :D
No awesomely interesting plan so far... I guess we are just gonna stay in because Aaron is still in Malaysia so it wont be fun to go out without him.

And maybe Nesh needs some time to rest and cool down first.

Warm tight hugs all the way from Moscow :)

Just when we thought we could finally be complete again tomorrow.

2011-11-01T00:49:00.011+04:00

Shisho, Nishan and I didn't send Nesh off at the airport the day he flew back so this time around, we decided for everyone to follow and send Aaron off :)

Because we love each other so much like that :)

It's been quite some time since our last makan session with everyone. Was it during Krishtina's birthday dinner? Ooh, the night before Nesh flew home... We went to Korston Hotel's Tokyo. And now he goes to the reaaaalll Tokyo. Awesome.

He's taking Japan Airline, so if you happen to be in Tokyo Narita International Airport and you saw this tall guy, be nice to him, okay? We are kinda worried about him, :')

Nesh is coming back to Moscow tomorrow, and Aaaron flew back to Malaysia yesterday evening...

Hmm... And who would have guessed that in the middle of the week, ALL flights are fully booked.

We went to every counter, even to the ones we would never even look at before.

God knows how happy we were when the lady asked us if we are okay if he fly through Tokyo in two hours time.

Super relieved.

Plus point? Short transit hour! :D

Hopefully, everything will be fine.

Of course it will be, God is with us, right?

Right.

Just in case I die in the so-called battle.

2011-10-30T19:56:00.005+04:00

Monday: 2 as in TWO colloqs.

Tuesday: Another 2 colloqs.

Wednesady: Razkaz.

Tueasday: Chillllllling day. Fuck PT lah.

Friday: IT'S HOLIDAY. WOOT WOOT.

The only thing I am looking forward to is Nesh coming back to Moscow.

And Pei Vern's birthday.

And the public holiday on Friday.

Eh, not so bad eh.

Hugs and kisses from Moscow, :)

So sad I don't have a Punjabi suit or a saree.

2011-10-27T00:38:00.005+04:00

Morning till afternoon: Prayer and breakfast/lunch at Krishtina's place.

Evening: Cooking session with the loved ones in 3rd floor.

Night: Dinner with the group mates and close friends.

This is the best thing weh. YUMMY.

We got hungry while cooking so we asked Narshini to send us food. So the 5 of us ate this together, because we are very sweet like that :p

Wasn't really in the mood of taking photo today, unlike last year, this year's Diwali is on the middle of the week so not much of celebration going on.

We shall wait for the weekend ;)

Plus we are waiting for Nesh to come back to Moscow because seriously, it was so quiet without him.

Time heals and reveals.

2011-10-25T03:01:00.002+04:00

Lost.

Daylight comes in the nick of time
Shines some light into the darkest corners of her mind
All the world is, all the world is weighing down on you

Piece by piece, it all falls away
All this beauty, all this magic 'til there's nothing there
If only love was enough, I could reach you, I would reach you

I know I'm not tired of you, but maybe you got tired of me
It seems like every little thing I do makes you pull yourself away
So I'm waiting for the sun, but you only see the grey
Oh no - won't you please come on home

Oh, I've been missing you, you got lost along the way
Oh maybe you aren't lost; it's still in you some way
If only love was enough, I could reach you, I would reach you

I know I'm not tired of you, but maybe you got tired of me
It seems like every little thing I do makes you pull yourself away
So I'm waiting for the sun, but you only see the grey
Oh no - won't you please come on home

Seems like every little thing I do makes you pull yourself away
So I'm waiting for the sun, but you only see the grey
Oh no - won't you please come on home

If only love was enough, I would reach you, I could reach you

Dr. Aaron Raj

2011-10-24T01:08:00.005+04:00

Another colloq-packed week.

Ahh, I am just so fucking tired.

AND I need a new winter boots & winter coat.

If only money grows on trees, eh? Tskk tskk.

Oh btw, this song is currently overplayed on my lappy because I oh-so-LOVE-it!

Till then, mwah xx

We found love in a hopeless place.

2011-10-20T23:46:00.004+04:00

I've been feeling really really down.
All I want to do is just hide under the big comfy heavy duvet and die.

I know I am not supposed to disturb Nesh who is mourning for his brother by talking to him about all the problems, but that is what I did.

And I am feeling super better now so yeay for the long distance phone call.

And THAT is what I call an awesome friend :)

He'll be coming back to Moscow soon, urgh, how we are missing him right now.

Sending him all the good thoughts and prayers :)

I still owe you guys a story about this, right? But now, I am not sure if want to share it here.

This is something that I want to keep for myself.
You know, about how we found out about his brother and everything.

Hmm, we shall see.

***********

On a lighter note, THIS is one of Rihanna's best music videos -for me lah.

It makes me smile, somehow.

-_-"

Hot right?

What a long hard roller coaster ride weekend it was.

2011-10-18T03:43:00.004+04:00

I'm still alive.

Spent most of the weekend crying for the loss of someone I've never even met before.
Last weekend was quite something for my group mates and I.

It's scary how just a few phone calls can change everything.

I'll write more about this later, okay?

4:29 AM, Moscow time.

Good day, y'all :)

Because we are sexy like that, :p

2011-10-11T03:22:00.004+04:00

(I googled that background photo, it's her 21st birthday so the photo is perfect right? :p )

Photos of the party and the after-party party is not with me, :(
But seriously, we had fun like SO much fun.

It was nice because we never really go out together like that.

Usually, one or two person will be missing but that night, everyone was there so that was super awesome.

Will write more soon, okay?

I'm having two exams later today so gotta go do some reading and writing.
Mwah <3

PARTIED LIKE A ROCK STAR.

2011-10-10T03:24:00.001+04:00

I am sorry, my dear (SUPER sensitive) skin.

I will detoxify the system later.

Good night, world.

Now THIS is what I always wanted to be. An honest and loud speaking person.

2011-10-04T10:32:00.003+04:00

He is indeed, The Man.

When holding on, acting strong is no longer an option.

2011-10-03T13:51:00.003+04:00

Sometimes you need a breakdown. One of those yell at everyone, cry until you fall, and can’t breathe kind of breakdowns. Then you feel better. And if you don’t, then at least people know you’re not okay.

Napoleon Bonaparte said, "A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon" and I think I know why.

2011-10-02T12:52:00.003+04:00

BECAUSE COLORED RIBBONS ARE SO PRETTY!
My new obsession, y'all!
It can get a liiilll bit too windy for liking here in Moscow to the point that wearing my dangling & heavy earrings will only hurt my earlobes. :(
AND my hair will get all messed up and puffy so colored ribbons to the rescue, :)

This is what I got for myself for standing strong and surviving all the things that I went through.

2011-09-29T03:24:00.003+04:00

On the way home from the hospital, we went to a shopping place in YugoZapadnaya.
I was dying to get a shoe bag for PT and hospital classes BUT they don't have the kind of bag that I wanted. Hmph!

We went to Centro because I need a new bag but, the boys were rushing home so they were like, 'Eh, we came here to eat and to look for your shoe bag. Not to get carried away here.'

I was like, "BUT I NEED A NEW BAG LIKE , PRONTO!"

They stopped listening anyway so we walked to the bus stand while I whined and made a huuuuuuge drama to the point that when I think about it now, I feel like slapping myself.

On the way to the bus stand, I saw L'Etoile and I was reminded that I need a new perfume (and no, the Body Shop's Love etc... edp doesn't count because it came with the lotion and shower gel).

So to cut the story shorter (ahem), I bought myself Lola by Marc Jacobs!
I lust over the perfume since I was in PatFak okay.

Click here if you don't trust me.

Lola by Marc Jacobs.

Feeling a little bit better now but fuck, I still need a shoe bag.

And the other reasons why I think I deserve this reward?

I did well for my first Biochem control (and if you know me very well, you should know how much I *insert appropriate hateful word here* anything chemistry, physics and numbers related stuff), I am still alive, I have a wonderful and supportive family and well, I am very grateful for all the good things in my life.

Including this perfume :)

Wordless Sunday.

2011-09-25T20:30:00.000+04:00

Monthly Outing: September.

2011-09-22T20:48:00.004+04:00

Where? Mirage, PFU.

When? Err, 20th September.

Thank you loves, I had fun.

I love you.

What the fuck are they thinking?

2011-09-20T02:53:00.003+04:00

"Women are completely defenseless... Until the nail polish is dry."

I am sick of people making up stories and spreading bad rumors about me.

I am like, "WHAT THE FUCK? YOU DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME, DON'T YOU DARE TO TALK ABOUT ME!".

Like, seriously.

If you thought that I purposely did what I did and you are the so-called 'mangsa' here, well then, think again.

I didn't do that on purpose.

I have my reasons.

I trusted the wrong person.

I AM HURT, TOO. Fucking hurt.

I am all smiley and happy but God knows how I feel inside.

Pain, sad, betrayed, lied, confused, angry, disgusted.

Don't judge me before knowing the real story.

Every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

I got what I wanted, what I was craving for the whole week..

2011-09-19T02:47:00.006+04:00

Juicy, sweet watermelon.

Yeay, :)

Meet my Russian boyfriend.

2011-09-18T02:45:00.004+04:00

*blush*

I am just joking lah, he was one of the Nike people AND he speaks good English!

Helped Michelle and I because we were quite blur at first (the place is HUGE).

Okay-okay, I was about to go to sleep but cannot tahan must post this photo, tehee :)

Good night lovelies.

*cough* Look at my new hair color *cough*

What Michelle and I did yesterday.

2011-09-18T02:06:00.006+04:00

We woke up super early and went for the Nike's Moscow Run event!

I will write more later okay?

Too tired.

Mwah xx

Trying not to go to bed angry. I am so gonna fail.

2011-09-17T00:51:00.005+04:00

All smiley faced, right?

NOT!

I am supposed to be lepak-ing with the group mates.

Bought watermelon on the way home after class but we asked the boys to bring it home because Kristina, Shisho and I were going to Noviye Cheryomushki.

The plan was, we cut the watermelon and eat it together in the boys' room later at night but suddenly, the boys got futsal and whatnot plans lah.

EISH.

Should have told us (the girls) earlier lah so that we wont rush home from Noviye.

Disappointed, disappointed to the max.

You know that feeling right?

When you planned for something, got all excited and then BAM, plan is cancelled.

Now I am super restless. And bored. And lonely.

Worst Friday night ever weh.

At least last Friday was something because we celebrated Nishan's belated 20th birthday, cooked and had dinner together even though it was just for awhile because the boys were having another plan that night.

Gahh, it sucks being single at times like this :(

‎1st Therapy @ 'What is your family name?' class.

2011-09-16T02:45:00.003+04:00

I look like a *cough* celebrity *cough* here, :p

City Clinical Hospital No.31.

I have blonde streaks in my hair now.

2011-09-13T20:05:00.003+04:00

I am not feeling well.

A lot has been going on in my life right now.

I was just about to feel comfortable with the state of condition of everything when BAMMM, shit happens...

Pray with me, lovelies.

I just want to feel okay again.

We don't deserve each other.

2011-09-07T20:26:00.003+04:00

Come, as you are. As I want you to be; as a friend, as an old enemy. Take your time, hurry up. The choice is yours, don't be late. Take a rest, as a friend, as an old memoria. ♥

Oh yes baby, I am back in Moscow.
Mommy bought me a new lappy.

So yeah, I AM BACK :)

2011-06-13T15:26:00.002+04:00

My life right now: Going out or staying in.

2011-05-19T05:29:00.004+04:00

My lappy has decided to die.

URGH.

I am posting this using Michelle's lappy.

Girl is sleeping but duh, I asked her permission lah.

If I am not using her lappy, I will be online using one of the boys' lappy.

Have to lah, I have emails and stuff to check.

Haeh.

Since I wont be posting anything in the near future (READ: for the whole Spring until my Summer break when I'll be flying home and Mommy will get me a new lappy) and just in case you guys rindu me;

My sayang-ness, :)

Mwah mwah!

The awesome future doctors.

2011-04-29T05:04:00.004+04:00

Stick and stone could never break us

We'll brave through everything together, hands in hands.

Okay?

(Almost) 2 years and counting, :)

I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.

2011-04-24T13:34:00.003+04:00

Hello, my lovelies.

I didn't finish the 10 days picture challenge eventhough I always tell people to finish what they start, the irony of life.

Heh.

Life has been... Very interesting.

Last weekend was the SIG event, I had fun meeting my old friends and making a new ones.

It was a good event.

Yeah, I had to see few faces that I am trying to forget but Moscow is not that big and there is always an event involving Malaysian students so suck on that.

Just in case you are missing me, tehee :p

Study wise?

I am doing... Fine.

Or you can say, I am surviving.

A lot has been going on lately and I am confused with life- generally.

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling ugly, worthless, lonely and helpless.

I know something is not going right somewhere in my head ( and heart) because in just one week, I cried twice in front of my group mates and countless time while trying to sleep off the sadness.

Nishan said, all I need to do is just focus on my study while waiting for Summer break.

I think I can do that.

Yeah, that is what I am going to do.

Super busy.

2011-04-14T04:32:00.002+04:00

Like, very very busy.

Which is good because it means that I actually have a life, :p

Hugs.

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 7.

2011-04-11T00:14:00.000+04:00

7. A photo of you and your best friend.

Bannyyyyyaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkk sangat photos I couldn't pick which one is the nicest but you guys can pretty much guess who my best friends are by judging the photos and stories that I shared here.

Kan?

Love.

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 6.

2011-04-09T15:13:00.003+04:00

6. A photo of a former crush.

My childhood celebrity crush.

Hahaha.

Had an awesome morning today, yeay for that ;)

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 5.

2011-04-08T03:55:00.002+04:00

5. A photo of you making a funny face.

I am very lame that the funniest face that I ever made in a photo is this one.

-_-"

Taken by Nesh during our group's New Year party.

It was a reflex thing when he pointed the camera towards me and without counting or saying "cheeeeese" he just click the capture button.

So, there. My funny face.

Oh by the way, I am reeaaaallllllyyyyyyy hoping that today is going to be a

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 4.

2011-04-07T00:02:00.000+04:00

(I'm sorry about the photo in the last post. I copied pasted it from Facebook so yeah... And unfortunately, I am just too lazy to upload a new one. Tehee. )

4. A photo that makes you happy.

It was just the five of us (from our group) who went to the lecture yesterday and we sat in the 3rd row (Aaron was in 2nd row), so we did what we do best during break time; making fun and laughing hysterically at each other and of course, taking photos.

Nishan didn't let us (Krishtina and I) to take our photos using his camera after what happened in our last lecture, so we used my phone.

Can't blame him tho', I took self-snapped photos of myself and Krishtina's until the camera battery died on us and we didn't get to take photos of the lecture slides!

Lesson well learnt, eh?

It is the small things like sitting together in lecture, getting/giving back massages to each other while waiting for lecture to start and giggling breathlessly at our inside jokes that make me happy.

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 3.

2011-04-06T04:12:00.001+04:00

3. A photo of someone you love.

Mommy and I, :)

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 2.

2011-04-05T03:29:00.002+04:00

2. A photo of yourself a year ago.

I was out with the girls for dinner and Shisho fell in love with Lola by Marc Jacobs and I fell in love all over again with red lipstick, hence, the red lips :)

10 Day Picture Challenge: Day 1.

2011-04-04T01:33:00.004+04:00

1. Your Facebook profile photo.

I didn't touch up this photo because I want people to see the real me, the flawed and imperfect me.

I don't want them to see me in real life and go, "Woah, she sure looks different from all the Facebook photos!".

No one is perfect and a little imperfections is what making us all different from each other.

Ooh, ponies!

2011-04-02T17:16:00.001+04:00

I was walking to the Uni with Krishtina, Nishan & Brian when we saw these two beautiful ponies.

I want!

Opening up.

2011-03-27T20:53:00.004+04:00

Hello there :)

What's up?

How are you?

I am physically okay.

But mentally, I am broken to million pieces.

A lot of changes took place, out with the old and in with the new...

People come and go, yeah I know that.

But still, I am not prepared for this kind of pain.

It hurts me so much.

I couldn't tell this to anyone because hellooo, Japan has bigger a problem to be compared to mine but okay seriously, I don't want to say it out loud because I know that the look that my friend(s) will give me once they heard my story will hurt me more.

I still can't... I don't know how to explain this but it seems that I always fall for the wrong person.

And in the mean time, all I can do is just smile and hide all the sadness and try to move on.

I will be alright, insyaAllah.

And hopefully- one day, I'll meet the right person and finally be able to smile widely like how I used to.

Love.

Searching for the right shoe IS a serious business.

2011-03-23T21:48:00.002+03:00

But it is okay because I know that they are super loving their new shoes :)

Nesh even woke up super super early yesterday and gave Nishan and I woke up calls.

I was like, 'Huh? Why are you up so early?' haha because when I saw his name on my phone (at that hour) I thought something happened, :'D

How is the shoe? Any regret?

No regret, I love it. It's like I am wearing high heels!

Huh?

It's awesome bi.

Yeay.

And oh, I finally went to the Malaysian Embassy!

Went there to accompany Krishtina deal with her passport stuff.

So yeay for that!

Haha :D

LOVE!

Japan, a week before the tsunami.

2011-03-19T10:15:00.001+03:00

So what did I get for Women's Day this year?

2011-03-13T12:26:00.004+03:00

Okay this is actually for my birthday but since I got it a day before Women's Day so I considered it as my Birthday/Women's Day present. Asyiq gave it to me when we met at the concert.

Happy Women's Day, Farhanah!

Oh, thank you Ryan :)

Sorry lah no present, hehe.

It's okay, we go out makan2 in Bollywood pun enough lah. Look, got belly dancers!

Eh, later don't forget to come to my room, okay?

NO PRESENT MY ASS!

I went to his room and he gave me the roses and the Cadbury chocolate.
Later 3rd year, you must change group okay Ryan, come join our group :')

Oh, Rajiv gave me the Snickers because I am his so-called ex-wifey (it's a long story) and he gave one to Michelle, because she's his so-called future wifey.
LOL.

Nishan, thank you babe for the text.

I feel so loved, thank you gentlemen for the wishes and warm hugs :)
♥

The best Women's Day ever. Well, so far lah...

2011-03-10T21:27:00.002+03:00

Pretty tied up with homework and tests to the point that I have to choose between spending my free time having a nice meal or catching up with my sleeping time.

Will write more this weekend, okay?

Hugs!

Oh, the concert was fun, ;)

I wish I have a beautiful voice like Adele's so that I can sing these meaningful words to you. Because this is exactly how I feel right now.

2011-03-06T23:50:00.004+03:00

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any sins,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye,
And a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye,

And a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
In hope that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?

If only the snow could wash away my worries, I'll be super thankful that it started snowing again. I'm just sick of this heavy feeling of loneliness.

2011-03-06T18:38:00.007+03:00

I'm going to the Change Your World Concert tomorrow.

I think.

Well, few weeks ago, when I first saw the posters and everything, I was pretty excited because Vince Chong is my high school crush, lol.

I voted for him okay, mwahahaha, :')

The good old days.

But.

Now I am not sure lah, if I go, who would I sit next to?

Krishtina is not going.

Michelle my roommate is going but her friends will be there too and I don't want to tag her along for the whole time, like hello?

Wouldn't it be awkward to be sitting/standing alone, all pathetic and sad?

Damn you paranoid attack...

Like, damn you.

I won't go lah. I think. Most probably.

FML.

Have you tried mixing caviar with strawberry jam? Or maybe with chocolate syrup?

2011-03-05T10:18:00.005+03:00

Our Latin and Anatomy classes were cancelled so yeay for yesterday, :D

Zoya asked us to go and see her before going home so we went to her room and guess what she cooked for us?

Russian pancakes!

Complete with Russian honey, caviar and sour cream.

Aww, thank you Zoya :')

So we happily walked home, made fun at each other and laughed hysterically at everything.

We were high on happiness.

Lame I know :)

Aaron was not feeling well, poor boy vomited blood.

So all of us gathered in 5-02, Krishtina made us tea and Nesh brought Coke (the drink, not the youknowwhat).

Oh man, how I miss our PatFak days.

We used to complaint about our endless free times and now, just unexpectedly cancel one of our classes and we will be super high on happiness, heh!

A friend of mine told me that cuddling is a softer version of sex. Hmm, interesting.

2011-03-03T06:04:00.002+03:00

Melting snow is no fun, y'all.

And my skin is totally driving me crazy, eishh.

I have nothing to blame but the fire last Sunday.

My bed sheets, pillow cases, comforter, towels- okay basically everything- smells smokey, even those inside the cupboard so I have to rewash every single thing.

But I can't wash every single thing in just one go, right?

Okay, I don't know how to explain this but the thing is, my skin is super sensitive.

Whatever, forget it.

I just couldn't wait for the weekend BUT I'm having classes and lectures this Saturday, sobs!

Here comes the melting snow.

2011-03-02T13:15:00.000+03:00

Hello, Spring!

All the good things always come to an end. Unfortunately.

2011-02-28T16:45:00.006+03:00

Sunday, 27th Feb.

It was almost 3am when I finished showering and was about to sleep when I heard footsteps and the sound of metal being banged against the window and people shouting 'Get out, get out! Okhrana (guard) is coming!' and I was like, 'Stupid drunken people...'

And then, I smelled something smokey.

So guess what I did?

Updated my FB status. -_-"

And then I slowly opened the main door and I saw a massive cloud of black smoke, pieces of broken window on the floor, cans of emptied fire extinguisher and people running and screaming 'Get out, get out. Run!!!' .

FUCK.

I ran back inside to my room, woke both of my roomies up.

'Michelle, Akka Sham. Wake up. I think, this floor is on fire.'

And I asked them to open the main door and then we saw the hallway is filled with smokes and Michelle called her friend and her friend said 'It's okay. Stay in the room and lock the door'.

-_-"

So we got inside our room and locked the door.

After few seconds, we heard people banging on doors screaming 'WAKE UP WAKE UP! GET OUT OUT EVERYONE, GET OUT!' and we were like, 'No, he said stay in the room' and then we realized that it was Michelle's friend who banged on our so we unlocked the door and ran out.

He asked Michelle, 'What are you wearing?'

And Michelle was like, 'Err, clothes?'

And he said, 'Put on some jacket, coat, anything!'

At that point, Akka Sham already left us and ran down so it was only Michelle and I, we ran back inside and took our coats.

We couldn't see anything and we were like, 'Fuck. Where to go, can even see my own feet' and Arul Botak came and asked us to just walk straight to the staircase and run down.

So we did.

On the way down, I heard people telling that it was Room7-14 on fire.

SHIT. No wonder the smokes came from that direction.

I tried to call Krishtina, I couldn't reach her.

Once I reached the 1st floor, I couldn't find her, I asked everyone and they said they didn't see Krishtina or anyone from the Room7-14.

Panicked, I called Shisho and Pei Vern, and sent a text to Nishan asking them to call Krishtina.

I was crying when someone told me that they saw Krishtina going down the stairs.

Phew.

To cut the story short, the 1st floor of our building was getting congested so they asked those who were wearing winter jackets, jeans and shoes to go to the next building.

Michelle and I was only wearing short shorts and slippers but people didn't see that, they only saw that we were wearing out long overcoat so they pushed us out.

Bloody hell.

Short shorts and slippers, on a freezing cold -20 (something)'C ?

Awesome.

At around 4am they asked us to go back to our respective floors and obviously, it was our floor who was on fire so we can't go back to our room.

I didn't know where to go because Krishtina's room was obviously gone, and I couldn't find the boys.

But in the end I stayed in a friend's room and fell asleep like a pig.

Embarrassing.

To cut the story shorter...

I went to see the room later in the afternoon and my oh my, now I know what my family felt.

I didn't help much (and yes, I'm feeling bad about it), my roomies and I decided to just let them put some of their stuff in our room since our room has extra space.

The fire started in the big room, so most of the stuff in the small room is okay.

It is sad, we used to lepak in that room during holidays, spent sleepless nights studying during colloq week and we even partied in that room, remember this?

*sigh*

Our Russian Mother, :)

2011-02-26T16:02:00.000+03:00

It was Zoya's birthday last Sunday, 19th Feb.

So on Thursday morning, Krishtina and I dropped by Perekrestok on the way to the uni and bought the cake and the card and we brought them to the uni.

Krishtina bought her a special mug and Brian bought her a white rose.

She was surprised, and happy AND touched especially after she read the card, written there 'Happy Birthday, Mom' but of course the card is in Russian.

She translated the quotes inside the card to us and the words are super sweet :)

Everyone was there except Nesh, he went missing for the whole day.

We called and text him for like, a thousand times but he didn't even pick up his phone or at least reply Brian's text messages.

Hmm.

Nishan went to his room to wake him up and Nishan said he was coming then Brian pula went to his room but Nesh was already gone.

But it was okay as long as the eight of us were there, our original PatFak group (Nesh just joined our group last semester) so yeah, it was still awesome :')

Alllaaaaaa, forgot to take photo of the card!

Haaaa...

You lah ni, you gave the card to her but tak ambik the gambar.

Who was the photographer?

....

Hmm!

Forgot to take a photo of the card :(

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 10.

2011-02-26T05:25:00.000+03:00

Day ten: A confession you want to make.

I did something bad on my birthday last Tuesday.

But I think it wasn't that bad because I'm not regretting it.

Okay maybe a bit but, I don't know...

Hmm.

Whatever.

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 9.

2011-02-25T03:27:00.001+03:00

Day nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

:|
-_-"

What a boring question lah.

So what did I get for my 21st birthday?

2011-02-24T02:23:00.002+03:00

When I tweeted that I am overflowed with love, I wasn't kidding okay.

I am loved and blessed.

Alhamdulillah.

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 8.

2011-02-24T02:13:00.003+03:00

Day eight: Three turn ons.

When someone smells good. Especially when I'm hugging or near them.
Inside jokes and cheeky giggly knowing smile :)
Kisses on the forehead. And neck. ;)

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 7.

2011-02-23T12:31:00.002+03:00

Day seven: Four turn offs.

Okay this one is a bit confusing, turn off as in, when?

Like, you know when or the normal time...?

Hmm.

When The Guy scold me. Mannnn, I'll be scared and a scared Farhanah is not a fun Farhanah.
When The Guy complain too much. To me, a guy should be cool and manly, not fussy wussy.
When The Guy brag to much. "I did this, I did that" attitude turn me off.
When The Guy lie to me more than 'just a few time only lah'. Stop bullshitting me. I am not that stupid, I am not that innocent, you see...

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 6.

2011-02-22T12:19:00.001+03:00

Day six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Everyone in my life.

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 5.

2011-02-21T20:02:00.002+03:00

Day five: Six things you wish you'd never done.

I don't regret shit.

Why?

Because whatever shit I did, at that moment, it's exactly what I wanted.

OH PEOPLE, IN A FEW HOURS TIME, I AM TURNING 21.

DAMN OLD FML.

Eh, legal age... Ahem ;)

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 4.

2011-02-20T07:06:00.002+03:00

Day four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

My past.
My future.
Those fun times.
My next colloqs/controls. -_-"
Fun time partner.
What to wear. Mind mix-and-matching every skirts/tees/dresses/sweaters/jackets/boots/shoes I have.
Death.

I hate my current sleeping pattern.

I'm still using Malaysian time wth.

Don't get me wrong, I super loving the fact that I would wake up at 4-5 am without alarm clock(!) but I sleep at around 9-10pm kot!

That's like, super early.
Eishh.

Adding salt to the injury, I have to catch up on my studies.

Super easy I know but my brain is quite unique and mengada... Ahem.

Anyway, I was sorting out my wardrobe and I found six dresses with price tags still attached.

And a set of bangles, a skirt and two tees still inside their plastic/paper bags buried underneath the mountain of my bajus and whatnots.

Did I tell you that I love to shop?

I am thinking of buying perfume sets for my mom, it is not too early right?

I know I just got back from Malaysia like 6 days ago but July is just months away!

Hmm.

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 3.

2011-02-19T05:47:00.003+03:00

Day three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Be nice to me.
Make me laugh.
Talk when its time to talk, listen when its time to listen and stop when its time to stop.
Respect me, my family AND my friends :)
Make me feel beautiful in his own way :)
Care for me but NOT in a creepy possessive jealousy way.
Accept me for who I am- My drama, my troubled past, my dreams and my hopes. Most importantly, my drama :p
Hug me tightly :)

Ten-Day Challenge, Day 2.

2011-02-18T02:49:00.003+03:00

Day two: Nine things about yourself.

I love reading chick lit books as much as how I love shopping. I had all Sophie Kinsella and Cecelia Ahern's books but it's all gone now, burnt. :(
I get angry very very easily but give me a decent meal and few hour of deep sleep and I'll be happy as a clam again, :)
I have issues with trust but once I trust a person, I'll give them all my secrets. Not a very smart move, I think.
I am a virgin. No, seriously I am.
I love having fun with my friends, but sometimes I just want to be alone.
Turning a year older scares me. :(
I am scared of death. And failure.
I don't think I am pretty. Honestly, I don't think anyone will ever want/love me. Yeah, you can call me insecure.
I can cook, I am just lazy. So I told everyone that I can't cook.

Good luck me for today's classes.

I heard that my new Latin teacher is a nightmare.

Hmm.

They don't call me Drama Queen for nothing.

2011-02-17T14:09:00.008+03:00

Where is the girl?

HERE HERE!

Hey, I miss you.

No you don't! You didn't come and see me earlier :(

We went to your room last night but you were sleeping like a dead person.

Oh. Hehe, sorry. I was tired.

*Tight hug*

Hey babe!

Deiiiiiii! Now only you come and see me :(

I went to your room right after class at around 7 something pm but you were sleeping. We came again at 10pm and you were still sleeping. And at around 12 midnight we came again, you were still sleeping.

Tehee. Sorry lah. Jet lag plus I was damn tired. I went straight to bed right after I got home from Sinbad which was at around 5 or 6, and I woke up at 6 something in the morning.

Come, lets hug.

*Hugs*

Farhanaaaahhhhh!

Heyyyyy!

Welcome back! How are you?

Now only you come?

Last night we came but you sleeping.

Hehe, okay okay.

*Hugs*

Woi, told you to keep your hair long right? What happened?

I asked the auntie to trim a bit only but the next thing I know, tadah!

Hey, its been a long time!

Hello! I miss you!

*Hug*

Is my book with you?

No. Fucker, you bought an iPhone 4! Awesome shit!

But not yet unlock lah.

Duh hello, still awesome. I only got an iPod.

Hey hey babe, good morning! Welcome back! How are you?

WHERE WERE YOU? DIDN'T COME AND SEE ME! Nobody loves me. :(

You were sleeping lah...

Oh, really? You also came? Hehe, okay :)

*Super tight hug*

How was Malaysia?

Good but I've been missing you guys.

Eh, new hair! Nice. I like this style. Shoulder length.

So what are you trying to say? I looked ugly lah, huh? Like this lah now. I left you guys for just 3 weeks but already telling me that I'm ugly.

Noooo lah. I didn't say that.

But I do look pretty right? :p

Haha. Take off the hair clip lah, it'll look nicer.

Nahh, not now. I'm still not used to it.

Bi! Biiii!

I'm not talking to you. You didn't come and see me... :(

Sorry lah Bi, I was sleeping last night...

Hmm.

*Super tight hug*

You cut your hair, Bi?

Yeah. Ugly right? Shut up. I'm not feeling well.

Why? Is it because of the weather?

Yeah. Weather shock. I forgot that Moscow is a very very cold place. And also because you guys don't love me :(

Drama lebih lah you Bi.

Menjunjung kasih Tuan Puteri...

Banyak lah Tuan Puteri berkasih-kasih. Mana hilang?

Kitorang called, buzzed kat YM tapi no respond kot.

Sorry lah, tido mati :D

You know something?

What? I know I'm pretty. Mwahahahaha. Okay seriously, what?

We were so excited kot when we know about you-

About me what? Ooh, you guys were so excited when I wasn't here, kan? Like this lah now.

Huh? No lah. We've been missing you. We were excited when we know that you were coming back.

Yeah. Like, very happy.

And now that I'm back, bringing my drama along, sure you guys menyesal rindu I, kan? It's okay, I faham.

Alamak, drama dah...

Hello, my beautiful readers :)

My friends don't really read my blog (if not at all) because they said that since we are spending most of our time together so they practically know what my blog is all about and also, they have better things to do.

Mehh.

Whatever.

I will always sayang you guys.

Mwah.

But I really don't think that they love me.